Thinkingclearly – I want to be happy.
“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think abouti it.”i ―i Dalei Carnegie
Let’si facei it, wei alli wanti toi bei happy.
Ifi youi didn’ti wanti toi bei happy youi wouldn’ti bei readingi this.
Youi talki abouti howi youi wanti toi bei happy, buti youi don’ti everi seemi toi doi anythingi abouti it.
Ifi youi wanti toi bei happy youi don’ti needi toi addi morei thingsi toi ouri lifei —i youi needi toi givei somei up.
Herei is ai listi ofi thingsi thati youi needi toi givei upi toi createi morei happiness ini youri life.
Givei Upi Oni Youri Fears
“Where fear is, happiness is not.”i —i Luciusi Annaeusi Seneca
Fear hasi thei abilityi toi takei controli ofi youri life. Iti keepsi youi fromi doingi thingsi thati couldi killi you. Iti alsoi preventsi youi fromi doingi thingsi thati makei youi successful.
Wei cani alli havei fears.
Somei ofi usi havei ai fear ofi snakes.
Somei ofi usi havei ai feari ofi heights.
I, fori one, havei ai feari ofi needles.
Somei ofi usi eveni havei ai feari ofi happiness.
It’si true, it’si actuallyi ai reali feari andi it’si calledi cherophobia.
“Aversion to happiness, also called cherophobia or fear of happiness, is an attitude towards happiness in which individuals may deliberately avoid experiences that invoke positive emotions or happiness.” — Wikipedia
Therei arei four majori reasons whyi cherophobes fear happiness:
- Theyi feari thati beingi happy willi causei badi thingsi toi happeni toi them
- Theyi feari thati happiness willi makei themi ai worsei person
- Theyi feari thati expressingi happiness is badi fori themi andi others
- Theyi feari thati pursuingi happiness is badi fori themi andi others
“Some people — in Western and Eastern cultures — are wary of happiness because they believe that bad things, such as unhappiness, suffering, and death, tend to happen to happy people.” Wikipedia
Unfortunately, feari andi happiness can’ti existi ati thei samei time.
So, feari becomesi ai problemi ifi iti is keepingi youi fromi beingi happy.
Toi overcomei thei cherophobia, youi needi toi starti byi takingi smalli stepsi toi reducei youri fear.
Leti yourselfi feeli happy wheni youi havei accomplishedi ai difficulti task.
Learni toi enjoyi ai beautifuli sunrisei ori sunset.
Enjoyi beingi presenti withi youri friendsi andi family.
Oncei youi starti beingi happy withi thei littlei thingsi ini life, youi willi seei thati youi havei nothingi toi fear, andi youi willi allowi yourselfi morei happiness.
Onlyi theni willi youi bei ablei toi breaki thei poweri ofi feari ini youri lifei andi begini toi livei ai happieri life.
Give Up On Your Negative Self-talk
“Positive thinking and negative thinking cannot operate at the same level in your mind, one needs to be the master and the one you feed it more will rule over the other.” ― Oscar Bimpong
Ii ami myi owni worsti critic.
Ii havei ai constanti conversationi goingi oni ini myi headi tellingi mei that, “Ii willi neveri bei successful.”
Wheni Ii forgeti thingsi iti tellsi mei that, “Ii ami suchi ani idiot.”
Lately, iti hasi beeni tellingi mei that, “Ii sucki ati writing”i (this onei mighti actuallyi bei true).
Negative self-talk leadsi toi poori self-confidence, lowi self-esteem, andi ai bad attitude.
Somei ofi thei mosti commoni formsi ofi negativei self-talki include:
- Filteringi —i wheni youi increasei thei negativei andi decreasei thei positivei thingsi ini youri life.
- Personalizingi —i wheni youi blamei yourselfi fori thingsi thati goi wrong.
- Polarizingi —i wheni youi onlyi seei thingsi asi blacki andi whitei (this is myi favorite).
- Catastrophizingi —i wheni youi expecti thei worsti ini everyi situation.
“Neveri givei ai negativei thoughti ani inchi ori iti willi takei ai mile.”i ―i Matshonai Dhliwayo
Negativei self-talki willi neveri leadi toi happiness.
Ifi youi wanti toi bei happy, youi needi toi geti ridi ofi youri negativei self-talk.
Payi attentioni toi youri negativei self-talki andi wheni youi heari it….
Changei youri thinkngi andi turni youri negativei thoughti intoi ai positive.
“Ii willi neveri bei successful”i toi “Ii willi findi ai wayi toi makei this work.”
“Ii can’ti doi this”i toi “Ii cani learni howi toi doi this.”
“This is impossible”i toi “Ii willi givei iti ai try.”
Youi geti thei idea.
Youi cani changei thei wayi youi talki abouti yourself.
Iti willi noti happeni overnight, andi iti mayi takei somei time, buti youi cani doi it.
Learni toi bei kind, gentle, andi encouragingi toi yourself.
Starti byi noti sayingi anythingi toi yourselfi thati youi wouldn’ti sayi toi youri besti friend.
Give Up On Your Past
“Justi becausei someonei screwedi upi youri past, iti doesn’ti meani youi shouldi givei themi permissioni toi screwi upi youri future.”i —i Zigi Ziglar
Wei alli havei ai past.
Iti cani bei filledi withi goodi experiences, ori iti cani bei filledi withi ai bunchi ofi negativei crapi thati is screwingi upi youri present, andi eveni youri future.
Ifi youi don’ti wanti youri futurei toi looki likei youri past, youi havei toi leti goi ofi thei baggagei thati is holdingi youi back.
Youi havei toi leti goi ofi thei peoplei whoi havei screwedi upi youri life.
Oncei youi doi that, ai hugei weighti willi bei liftedi offi ofi youri shoulders, youi willi immediatelyi feeli lighter.
Youi willi finallyi bei ablei toi leti yourselfi bei happy.
Ii knowi howi incrediblyi hardi iti cani bei toi leti goi ofi thei past.
Youri pasti shapedi whoi youi arei today.
Sometimesi youri pasti actuallyi looksi betteri thani youri present.
But, thei presenti is alli thati youi have.
This momenti is thei futurei thati youi havei alwaysi dreamedi of.
Iti is thei momenti wherei youi havei toi decidei toi eitheri leti thei baggagei ofi youri pasti weighi youi downi ori toi leti iti goi soi thati youi cani bei happy now.
Don’ti forgeti thati lifei is ai journey, andi noti ai destination.
Don’ti carryi thei baggagei ofi youri pasti withi you.
Lighteni youri loadi andi bei ai happieri traveler.
Wheni youi looki back, youi willi bei gladi thati youi did.
Give Up On Living Other People’s Dreams
“Thei twoi mosti importanti daysi ini youri lifei arei thei dayi youi arei borni andi thei dayi youi findi outi why.”i —i Marki Twain
Wayi tooi manyi peoplei spendi theiri livesi livingi otheri people’si dreams.
Theyi arei livingi thei dreamsi ofi theiri parents…
Ori thei dreamsi ofi theiri friends…
Ori eveni thei dreamsi ofi someonei theyi don’ti eveni know…
Theyi arei soi busyi tryingi toi livei upi toi otheri people’si dreamsi fori theiri life, thati theyi arei noti livingi theiri owni life.
Theyi don’ti knowi whati makesi themi happy…
Whati theyi want…
Whati theyi need….
Youi onlyi havei onei lifei andi youi musti livei iti oni youri owni terms.
Quiti livingi otheri people’si dreamsi andi findi whati willi makei youi happy.
Give Up On Seeking The Approval Of Others
“Ani amazingi thingi happensi wheni youi stopi seekingi approvali andi validation:i Youi findi it. Peoplei arei naturallyi drawni likei magnetsi toi thosei whoi knowi whoi theyi arei andi cannoti bei shaken!”-i Mandyi Hale
Wei alli wanti toi bei liked, buti wayi tooi manyi ofi usi arei livingi ouri livesi basedi oni thei approvali ofi others.
Wei spendi ouri livesi tryingi toi pleasei othersi byi livingi upi toi otheri theiri expectations.
Therei is ai hugei problemi withi doingi this!
Youi willi neveri pleasei everyone, andi eveni ifi doi iti willi noti makei youi happy.
So, givei yourselfi permissioni toi stopi tryingi toi pleasei others.
Iti doesn’ti work.
“Ifi youi tryi toi pleasei everyone, youi endi upi pleasingi [noi one], sometimesi noti eveni yourself.”i —i Aloki Pandey
Instead, focusi oni whati makesi youi happy.
Thei secondi thati youi decidei toi bei yourself, andi toi stopi tryingi toi pleasei others, youi willi findi thati thei righti peoplei willi bei drawni toi you.
Give Up Comparing Yourself To Others
“Noi onei cani makei youi feeli inferiori withouti youri consent.”i —i Eleanori Roosevelt
Therei willi alwaysi bei someonei smarter, betteri looking, andi morei successfuli thani you.
Youi cani neveri win.
Soi quiti comparingi yourselfi toi others.
Iti willi noti makei youi happy.
Instead, focusi oni you.
Thei thingsi thati makei youi ani awesomei individual.
Givei upi youri needi toi impressi others.
Thei dayi youi stopi comparingi yourselfi toi othersi is thei dayi thati youi willi becomei muchi happier.
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